j'ai tué ma soeur

how dare you sleep at night?

how can you shut your eyes and see nothing? after all you did, after all you said. I'm shocked by the idea that such a filthy piece of brain can be turned off at night and just… rest.

how do you look yourself in the mirror?

or do you just go and avoid them, like you did with all the chances not to hurt me, or to hurt me a little less, or to make it a bit better. how can you stare at an image of such a being, that roams the world spreading the rot of its own scrooge-like soul. you can put on all the make up you want, buy all the nice clothes you can afford and sway your hair with all the winds, I will always see you for what you really are - you're the last stage of Dorian's picture.

do yourself a favour

Can you please turn around

And just start walking away

I’m done with warning, done with solid ground

We’re bound to fall.

But this fall I chose for me,

This time I’ll go alone

It’s all I’ve known, fate or destiny

Can’t you see I’d leave you to be...

So i’ll throw the first stone,

I’ll go ahead and break us apart,

I will take the chance to break your heart,

I promise you’ll be fine,

I just can’t handle that you’re mine.

I will give you all the reasons to go

Don’t you ever look back, run faster now

Forget all we were, Forget that we were,

That's something I'll never allow.

How noble of me,

How selfless to think I can set you free,

How admirable must I be,

To tear what's mine and leave you whole,

To give up on me and save your soul.

Don't kid yourself: I just need to be in control.

There's still light in you, so go to the sun

Disremember me, it's time to run.

era nestes dias que mais precisava que aqui estivesses, porque não vejo nada nem ninguém a minha volta "to look up to". preciso de alguma coisa, alguma clarividência, algum exemplo, qualquer coisa que me guie e me diga para onde ir e, mais importante, que ainda vale a pena ir. não tenho valores nem princípios, não sinto nada nem acredito em coisa nenhuma, é tudo uma hipocrisia plástica e amarela. todos num pedestal de gelo fino a julgarem todos os outros, cada um berra mais alto para se fazer valer e eu só ouço ruído. pior que isso é o silêncio que ecoa dentro de mim sempre que procuro por algo que me faça querer gritar também. não sei o que faço aqui. sou espectadora desatenta da minha própria vida, arrastando-me por onde me mandam. sinto-me a berrar debaixo d'água. eras a única pessoa que reparava quando entrava em casa com os joelhos esfolados. precisava tanto de ti aqui. dava um joelho em carne viva e umas quantas nódoas negras por mais cinco minutos contigo, nem que fossem os finais.